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by Dr Gary Chapman
Conversation starter: Analyzing your secret desires.
This is about what you WANT from your spouse, not necessarily what you GET!
Instruction: print out two copies and fill them out separately.
Read each pair of statements and circle the one that best describes you. You and your partner should fill them out separately, score them, and then compare what you learn about yourself and your spouse. There are no right or wrong answers but how you both answer might enlighten each of you.
This is about what you WANT from your spouse, not necessarily what you GET!
Instruction: print out two copies and fill them out separately.
Read each pair of statements and circle the one that best describes you. You and your partner should fill them out separately, score them, and then compare what you learn about yourself and your spouse. There are no right or wrong answers but how you both answer might enlighten each of you.
A. I like to receive notes of affirmation from you.
E. I like it when you hug me.
B. I like to spend one-on-one time with you.
D. I feel loved when you give me practical help.
C. I like it when you give me gifts.
B. I like taking long walks with you.
D. I feel loved when you do things to help me.
E. I feel loved when you hug or touch me.
E. I feel loved when you hold me in your arms.
C. I feel loved when I receive a gift from you.
B. I like to go places with you.
E. I like to hold hands with you.
A. I feel loved when you acknowledge me.
C. Visible symbols of love (gifts) are very important to me.
E. I like to sit close to you.
A. I like it when you tell me that I am attractive.
B. I like to spend time with you.
B. I like to spend time with you.
C. I like to receive little gifts from you.
D. I know you love me when you help me.
A. Your words of acceptance are important to me.
B. I like to be together when we do things.
A. I like the kind words you say to me.
E. I feel whole when we hug.
D. What you do affects me more than what you say.
A. I value your praise and try to avoid your criticism.
C. Several inexpensive gifts mean more to me than one large expensive one.
E. I feel closer to you when you touch me.
B: I feel close when we are talking or doing something together.
A. I like you to compliment my achievements.
D. I know you love me when you do things for me you don't enjoy doing.
E. I like for you to touch me when you walk by.
B. I like when you listen to me sympathetically.
C. I really enjoy receiving gifts from you.
D. I feel loved when you help me with my home projects.
A. I like it when you compliment my appearance.
B. I feel loved when you take the time to understand my feelings.
E. I feel secure when you are touching me.
D. Your acts of service make me feel loved.
D. I appreciate the many things you do for me.
C. I like receiving gifts that you make.
B. I really enjoy the feeling I get when you give me your undivided attention.
D. I really enjoy the feeling I get when you do some act of service for me.
C. I feel loved when you celebrate my birthday with a gift.
A. I feel loved when you celebrate my birthday with meaningful words (written or spoken.)
D. I feel loved when you help me out with my chores.
C. I know you are thinking of me when you give me a gift.
C. I appreciate it when you remember special days with a gift.
B. I appreciate it when you listen patiently and don't interrupt me.
B. I enjoy extended trips with you.
D. I like to know you are concerned enough to help me with my daily task.
E. Kissing me unexpectedly makes me feel loved.
C. Giving me a gift for no occasion makes me feel loved.
A. I like to be told that you appreciate me.
B. I like for you to look at me when we are talking.
C. Your gifts are always special to me.
E. I feel loved when you kiss me.
A. I feel loved when you tell me how much you appreciate me.
D. I feel loved when you enthusiastically do a task I have requested.
E. I need to be hugged by you every day.
A. I need your words of affirmation daily.
All done. Now add Total Number of answers here: (How many A's, B's, C's etc.)
A. ____ Words of Affirmation
B. ____ Quality Time
C. ____ Receiving Gifts
D. ____ Acts of Service
E. ____ Physical Touch
This is a discussion starter to help you both compare Love Language compatibility and find out what means the most to each of you. You may decide to change how you show your love sometimes to better please your partner. Hopefully your partner will do the same for YOU!
This is a discussion starter to help you both compare Love Language compatibility and find out what means the most to each of you. You may decide to change how you show your love sometimes to better please your partner. Hopefully your partner will do the same for YOU!
